The Eyes Have It

I was not expecting it. Wasn’t looking for it. Then all of a sudden… WHAM! The routine of my life was detoured down a road I did not desire to take.

It was silly how it happened. I reached over into the back seat of the car to get the proof of The Graceline for the week. I picked it up by the corner and as I brought it over the front seat, the paper slung around and hit me right in the eye. I thought I would die. The pain was intense. My vision blurred. Tears streamed down my cheek.  I immediately covered my eye with my hand in an effort to keep out the light. My eye was burning and all kinds of horrible emotions and thoughts flooded my soul. “How could you be so stupid? Now you will never be able to see again. Your day is ruined. Who will teach Bible Study tonight? You’re letting the people down again. Now we have another doctor bill to pay”…. and on and on ad nauseum.

I go to the doctor as a last resort, or if I’m about to die. This episode was both. I went to the doctor to get checked out. She came in, introduced herself, looked into my eye and gave me that infamous doctor response…. “Umm… Ugh hmm.”  Bad thoughts and emotions again flooded my soul.

Then she asked me to lean back so she could put some drops in my eye. It was hurting so bad I would have let her do about anything to me if she could stop the pain. She put these numbing drops in my eye and immediately the pain stopped. It was wonderful.

While sitting there in blissful painlessness, she gave me the bad news. “The effects of those drops will wear off in about ten minutes. We can’t give you anymore numbing drops because your eye won’t heal as long as we keep it numb.”

After that bit of encouragement, she gave me some more drops and ointment that she said would burn like the dickens. She told me that those drops would heal the eye and keep infection down. She was right… on both counts. It healed and burned like the dickens.

I went back to the office to try to finish my Bible study for the Wednesday evening service. However, the more I looked into the one-eyed monster (my computer), the more my eye hurt. I finally succumbed and went home to lie down and keep my eye closed.  I found that if I would lie real still and not move my eyes, the pain would decrease, and I could rest. Well, I had to lie there for three days. I didn’t even feel like praying. It was an awful feeling.

Finally on Saturday, my vision began to improve and the pain started to subside. I was starting to feel like a human being again. The key to my recovery was following the doctor’s orders… keep still and put the medicine in your eye four times a day. The doctor said that the eye would heal if given the proper environment… medicine and rest. It did, and it has. Praise the Lord!

While flat on my back all week, I had a lot of time to commune with the Lord. I knew that He would not let this learning opportunity slip by without a showing me something good from it. Here’s what He revealed to me:

Due to the fall of man, life in this world is full of danger. Sin, the world, the devil, and our un-surrendered soul are constantly trying to drag us down into the pit of despair and hopelessness. Sometimes traumatic events happen to us due to no fault of our own which bring much pain, suffering and grief into our lives. We are living and enjoying life and all of sudden…. WHAM! Something hits us in the eye of our soul and our life is dramatically altered.

Whenever a traumatic event invades our life, the pain causes us to try and keep out any further damage. The eyelid of our soul closes tightly and our hand covers the eye to protect it from further invasion. Problem is that all our protective devices keep out the things that can restore and heal our wounded soul.

God’s children are a stubborn lot. Most of us have to be about to die before we will admit that help is beyond our meager resources. God is the only One Who can heal, fix, restore, and mend a wounded soul. He sometimes has to allow really painful events to put us on our backs before we will admit that we cannot “fix” the problem. Though our soul will disagree, that’s a really good place to be.

It was only a few minutes from the time that paper hit my eye to the place of surrender for me. The pain was so intense not to mention the fear that engulfed me over the thought of losing my sight. I was ready to do anything the doctor said.

It’s a shame that we have to let the enemy of our soul inflict so much havoc upon our lives before we are ready to submit to Dr. Jesus. The enemy slashes a gash in the eye of our soul and immediately we try to cover it up to prevent further damage and pain. Then when someone comes with help… with healing truth and grace… we won’t take our hand away and open our eye to allow them access to our wound. On the contrary, we usually run away from them.

I remember sleeping far away from Wanda those few nights for fear she might roll over and hit my eye. It’s instinct to protect a hurting member of our body as well as our soul. That’s why we layer over our unmet needs, unhealed hurts, and unresolved issues with strongholds of self-control, self-protectiveness, self-denial, and self-centeredness. Until those layers are stripped away, Dr. Jesus cannot apply the healing ointment of grace to the painful area.

In the meantime, we usually put numbing drops on our wounded soul to dull the pain. But just like the doctor said, the eye won’t heal with numbing drops even though the absence of pain feels marvelous. Problem is that the numbing drops of wrong behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, sex, workaholism, perfectionism, eating disorders, soul ties, etc. wear off pretty quickly and the wound only becomes worse.

Finally, by the grace of God, we come to the end of ourselves. We surrender to Dr. Jesus and open our wounded soul to His healing touch. Yes, the Light hurts our eye as we see how sinful and soulish we have been. The ointment of grace further blurs our vision because we have been looking through soulish eyes for so long when God intended for us to see through the eyes of our spirit. But as we submit to His healing hand, and as we become still before Him, the pain begins to subside and the vision starts to clear. Slowly but surely, hope returns.

I understand now what Paul was talking about in I Corinthians 13:12…. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

The more we apply His eye salve to our wounded, soulish eyes, the more of His Light and goodness we will see. It is a process. As we walk according to His Spirit, our path becomes brighter and brighter. We begin to enjoy life rather than endure it. Life gets better and more exciting every day. “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (Proverbs 4:18).

Okay, Beloved, lean your head back and open your eyes. It’s time for another dose of grace! Oh, by the way, if you put your Son-glasses on, the Light won’t hurt your eyes!

Blessings,

Kenny