Fighting Loneliness

One of COVID-19’s harshest ironies: Just when we need each other more, we’re being
forced apart. We are urged to stay home and maintain social distancing to combat the
spread of the virus, but this points out the need for solutions to address increasing social
isolation and loneliness. While social distancing is important for preventing the spread of
the virus, it worsens problems for the more than 25% of those aged 50 to 80 who felt
isolated even before the outbreak and increased the risk of loneliness for others,
especially the 35.7 million Americans living alone.
What’s particularly concerning is that those most at risk of developing severe cases of the
virus are the same ones who report high rates of social isolation: older adults and people
with underlying medical issues. Loneliness has been linked to a 26% increased risk for
premature death and has been equated to smoking 15 cigarettes a day,
Before the emergence of Covid-19, conventional wisdom held that the cure for loneliness
was intentional disconnection from our phones and devices in favor of good, old-fashioned
face time and hugs. But now that doing the “one another’s” is decidedly at odds with the
interests of public health, we are seeing how to use technology to help us feel less alone.
Those who used video chat platforms such as Zoom and FaceTime had half the
probability of depressive symptoms — a common byproduct of loneliness — as those who
used text-based communication. The lower depression rates were because of the
enhanced social and emotional connectedness that video messaging allows. We have
had a couple of family reunions via Zoom and it was great!!
Even if you’re staying at home, you can still call a neighbor to check in with them, take
food to someone who isn’t able to go out, or write a note to a friend. These are small but
powerful ways in which we can seek to serve others.
Another way to fight loneliness: Allow people to help you. Some people have a hard time
accepting help, but it can be affirming for both. There is something very powerful about
allowing others to help you. It requires you to be vulnerable in a moment, but the truth is
that all of us are vulnerable, especially right now. Both helping others and allowing
ourselves to be helped ultimately strengthen our connection with others.
Actions like these can be especially valuable for those who live alone. Such efforts
combat the chronic loneliness that can pull us inward and insidiously chip away at our
sense of self. We start to believe that the reason that we’re lonely is because we’re not
likable or because we’re not lovable,”. Serving others shifts the focus outward and reminds
us of our value and ability to contribute to the world.
Our spirit can only be connected to God. We are created for divine friendship. Each of us
has a God shaped hole within our lives. This part of us was made to have a divine
connection or relationship with God. We often fill this hole with other things than God
because we don’t have a relationship with God. We put people in that space. We put our
work, sports, our cars, TV, alcohol or drugs there. But, none of these can ever fill our
God-shaped hole. We are bound to feel emptiness and loneliness, because this part of us
that was meant for divine friendship gets stuffed with so many other things. Thus, part of
the loneliness that we experience is not having God within our God shaped hole.