Do you have a close friend? Not someone to call for lunch but I mean a genuine close friend. The kind of friend you let your hair down with and who feel like brothers and sisters. These are the people you call first when something important happens, those you love even when they stink, who make speeches at your wedding, whose best and worst sides you know intimately, and whose relationship with you is eternal—even if you go months or years without hanging out, nothing has changed when you get together again.
Around our mid or late 20s, it hits us: It’s not that easy to make friends anymore.
My word for 2019 is Connected. God created us for relationship. Connected to God. Connected to my family. Connected to people (We love God by loving people!). We live at a time when we have more ways to connect but often we’re not connecting meaningfully.
Connection is why we’re here! It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. In order for connection to happen, we need ourselves to be seen. In order to make connections, we have to not only understand ourselves, but feel good about who we are. It’s only when we feel good about ourselves that we form positive, healthy relationships with others.
It all boils down to a sense of worthiness. People with a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. What keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection. People who feel a sense of worthiness are courageous, compassionate, connected, and vulnerable.
Courage is telling the story of who you are—warts and all.
People who have the guts to acknowledge their imperfection form the most sincere bonds. So much of our life is spent attempting to cover our vulnerability. We put on the mask of strength, happiness, or efficiency, but the people who make the most real, authentic connections are those who are willing to let go of who they think they should be in order to be who they actually are.
Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s where connection—and the path to the feeling of worthiness—starts. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.
Rarely do we actually allow others to see our true feelings and our raw authenticity. Shame is key here as it is easily understood as the fear of disconnection!
I will write more on that in my next note!!!
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